My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
