she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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