I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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