last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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