Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
