Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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