Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
