was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
