im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
