I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
