Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
