someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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