dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
