and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize