im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
