Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
