She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
