Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
