My brain says no but my pants say off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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