seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize