i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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