ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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