I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
