Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
