you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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