can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
