so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
