I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need moral support for this bender
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize