I heard we made out
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
