girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
