Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
