I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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