I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
