..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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