where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
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What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
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Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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