bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
