Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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