Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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