well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
