I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
