yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
