does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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