His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize