fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
