This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
