I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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