Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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