If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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