Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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