Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
