I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
one might say we're banned from that church
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
3pm strippers are depressing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
