i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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