My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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