You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
