I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
