guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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