Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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