Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
