And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize